How to Get Groups of People to Do What You Want

This sounds manipulative.

It is not. Mostly.

It is really about the psychology of groups, and why getting humans to move in the same direction is so hard.

I was reminded of this because we are not going cycling this year.

For years, a group of us have gone on cycling trips. They worked because someone did the invisible work. Flights got discussed, dates got nudged, people got reassured, and eventually the herd moved.

This year, I was not organising it. And it quietly fell apart.

Not dramatically. No argument. No heroic exit from the WhatsApp group. It just drifted.

Everyone was interested. Which is the problem.

“Interested” means: “I like the idea, but I would prefer someone else to carry the risk until it feels safe to commit.”

That is how groups work. Nobody wants to book first. Nobody wants to be the person alone at the airport with a bike box and a rapidly browning banana.

The WhatsApp group is only ten percent of the work. The real work happens elsewhere: private messages, quick calls, quiet reassurance, finding the key people, getting them aligned, removing surprises.

Then, when three or four trusted people move, everyone else feels safe enough to follow.

I see the same thing at work.

People think getting things done is about good ideas. It is not. Good ideas are everywhere. Moving people from idea to action is the hard bit.

With ten people, it is hard. With 1,500, it is much harder. But the pattern is the same.

Find the key people. Get them onboard. Build confidence privately. Go public when you roughly know where things are heading.

My Speed Builds worked like this. Plenty of people were sceptical at first. Too chaotic. Too weird. Too risky.

So the work was not just “announce the thing.” It was getting the right people involved, building trust, and creating enough momentum for the first one to happen.

Then the second one was easier. Then the third. Success became social proof.

That is the strange thing about groups. When something works, it looks effortless.

The trip happened. The project shipped. The event worked.

But underneath is usually a lot of invisible work.

Trust. Reassurance. Backchannels. Momentum.

You only notice it when nobody does it.

Which is why, I suspect, we are not going cycling this year.

Everyone is still very enthusiastic, obviously.