There’s a quote by the French philosopher Blaise Pascal that goes:
“All of humanity’s problems stem from man’s inability to sit quietly in a room alone.”
Clearly, Blaise never tried doing this at a WordCamp. Or while slightly ill. Or while watching Interstellar in a hotel bed, drifting in and out of consciousness and wondering if time really is a flat circle or just the minibar spinning.
I went to WordCamp Europe 2025 in Basel with every intention of learning, networking, speed-building, and generally having a grand time. Instead, I spent most of it alone, ill, and horizontal. Not the plan. But, as it turns out, also not entirely terrible.
Here’s what happened.
Day 1: Three Countries, 13 Kilometres, and a Slightly Annoyed Chef
My trip started off gently. A small group of us rented electric bikes and set out on a 13-kilometre loop that somehow took us through France, Switzerland, and Germany, which sounds like a grand endurance feat, but was really just a pleasant glide through three closely arranged countries that apparently forgot to build fences.
The route was completely flat, like WordPress-default-theme flat, and honestly, it was a really easy ride. That said, I still managed to spend almost the entire journey in eco mode, blissfully unaware that my bike had a much easier setting. I only discovered the turbo button about ten minutes before the end, at which point the bike gently hinted that I might’ve been doing more work than necessary for no good reason.
Afterward, we convinced a local restaurant to stay open long enough to serve us some non-meat burgers, which were surprisingly decent. Judging by the chef’s expression, though, I think we interrupted either his afternoon nap or his will to live.
Later that evening, I attempted to go to the Freemius party, which was held in a very tall building with stunning views and absolutely no discernible air circulation. The room was packed, a sealed container of friendly developers exchanging ideas, greetings, and probably trace amounts of carbon dioxide. It was like stepping into a very polite oxygen crisis.
Within minutes, I was swaying slightly, either because the building was moving (unlikely) or because I was (much more likely). The noise level wasn’t deafening, but the sheer density of friendly voices all bouncing off glass and concrete meant I couldn’t hear anything below middle C. Anyone with a deep voice sounded like a muffled didgeridoo trapped in a fish tank.
After one attempt at conversation with Matt Cromwell and a polite smile that may have been a cry for help, I made my exit, quietly slipping away like a man who’d realised his night was about to end in either a nap or a medical incident.
Day 2: Stuck in Space (and a Swiss Hotel Room)
Day 2 was rough. Whatever minor illness had been brewing on Day 1 went full viral symphony overnight. I was feverish, motionless, and experiencing a level of stomach discomfort usually reserved for astronauts during G-force testing.
I couldn’t move much, so I did what any sensible person would do. I watched Interstellar.
If you’ve never seen Interstellar, it’s a deeply emotional, scientifically ambitious space opera featuring Matthew McConaughey, Anne Hathaway, and a robot that looks like a walking dishwasher. It’s also an absolutely perfect film to watch while mildly delirious and eating dry Swiss crackers one at a time like communion wafers.
Weirdly, it got me thinking about YouTube.
The way Interstellar jumps timelines, layers tension, and pulls emotional threads across dimensions is kind of what it feels like making a YouTube video, especially when you’re scripting, shooting, editing, and uploading in a state of mild panic. It reminded me that the best stories have some risk, and a lot of weird robots.
Day 3: WordPress Speed Build on a Stomach Made of Soup
Despite still feeling like I’d been run over by one of Basel’s trams, I had a job to do, run the WordPress Speed Build Challenge.
And honestly, it was great.
Fabian Kägy and Ellen Bauer were absolute legends. I gave them a completely absurd design, inspired by some unholy mix of bubblegum, brutalism, and bonbons, and they tackled it with grace, humour, and skill. The site? bonbonbon.com (don’t ask).
Running a speed build is like juggling eight flaming pineapples while smiling and explaining CSS in real time. You’re trying to:
- Narrate what’s happening
- Ask the builders questions
- Answer audience questions
- Keep the time
- Look calm
- Not fall off the stage
- And sometimes, all of those at once while dizzy
Thankfully, I had backup. Shoutout to Ryan Welcher for keeping things moving while I teetered between hosting and hallucination. The EU crowd was amazing. Interactive, supportive, and full of thoughtful questions. I’m only sorry that, by the end, I was operating on about 40 percent cognitive function and likely gave post-event answers that resembled fridge magnet poetry.
Day 3: Toast, Argo, and a Growing Appreciation for Solitude
After a night of near-zero sleep, I was back to lying horizontal and negotiating with my digestive system.
That morning I ordered toast and cheese, which became my only meal for the day. Not out of minimalism, just logistics. By now, my hotel room had become my world. I knew the temperature settings. I had a system for pillows. The minibar and I had a strained but respectful relationship.
At one point, Zack Katz messaged to see if I wanted to meet outdoors for some fresh air. I politely declined because by now I was in that very specific stage of illness where you don’t want to be more than four metres from a toilet, and ideally you want the toilet to be making eye contact with you at all times.
So instead, I watched Argo.
Another excellent choice.
If you haven’t seen it, Argo is the Ben Affleck film about the 1979 Iranian embassy crisis, where a fake sci-fi movie was used as cover to rescue hostages. It’s tense, smart, and features some truly excellent vintage hair. I loved it.
Later in the day, I caught the WordPress Q&A with Matt and Mary, and I have to say, they both did brilliantly. That kind of public transparency is hard. I’m not sure I’d put myself through it, and I admire anyone who does.
Final Thoughts (from Gate 30)
So now I’m at the airport, sitting at Gate 30, still not 100 percent, still wondering what Basel actually looks like beyond the wallpaper in my hotel room.
I didn’t go to any talks. I barely saw any friends. I spent three days in a hotel room watching space movies and eating toast.
But weirdly, I’m okay with that.
I learned that I can sit quietly in a room by myself, not because I wanted to, but because I had to. And once the fever settled and the room stopped swaying, I started to feel something that resembled peace. Or possibly just the effects of Swiss cheese.
Would I do it again? Not the virus, no. But the stillness, the quiet, the total absence of meeting fatigue?
Yeah.
Pascal might’ve been onto something after all.
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